Some movies have amazing plot twists—the kind that make you gasp and stare at the screen in disbelief. Think of the original Planet of the Apes (the realization that they were on Earth the whole time) or Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (Luke’s raw, emotional response to Darth Vader was very nearly how we all felt).
While those iconic twists are thrilling on a movie screen, they are far less welcome when they happen in real life.
I fully intended to write a post once a month; in fact, my second entry was ready to go. But then a twist caught me by surprise, and I lost control of my own narrative.
My family is currently mourning the passing of our Dad. He was the man who taught my sisters and me life lessons, yes, but he also gave us a lifelong love of music and dancing. Also, because of him, we learned the inner workings of electronics and computers, and among too many things to mention, we became confident, independent women with an unshakable work ethic.
He has now joined our Mother, who passed in 2020. As one of my sisters noted, losing the second parent feels “different.” It is just as devastating as the first, but the weight has shifted. Perhaps it’s the realization that the well of advice has run dry. Perhaps it’s the sudden, sharp awareness of our own mortality. Or perhaps it’s the heartbreak of watching his grandson lose a man he looked up to.
I still treasure the photos of my son at two years old—now a married man—working in the garden with Grandpa. He wore his jeans, a button-down shirt, and a baseball cap, a perfect miniature of his grandfather.
I remember sitting with Dad when I was a teenager, watching him play guitar. He taught me how chords support a melody to create a full, resonant sound. He was entirely self-taught, having an ear I simply didn’t inherit. I still struggle to sight-read sheet music, whereas he didn’t need sheet music at all.
On a positive note, my family met once a week via video chat, and we were able to spend a final week by his side. That is a scene I will play back in my mind forever.
If the events of this year were a movie, I’m not sure the audience would stick around for such a heavy ending. But while movies eventually fade to black, real life continues with or without the leading men. He is deeply missed, but we carry his lessons into the next chapter.
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